Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Grateful for the Expense

Ok Hashem. I get it.

I'm sure that there are many, many times when Hashem is trying to tell me something and I'm not paying attention. The moments when I am paying attention, and I see the connections, (as my friend Ruti did here) however are extremely powerful. And I get it - really, Hashem. I get it.

So, this morning, I couldn't shake the story of yesterday's tragedy. An entire family, coming home from a beautiful day of mitzvot and family activities, was killed as their brakes failed. 8 of the Attias family members died, leaving just one little girl left to carry on their names and their legacies. Other bloggers have clearly been contemplating the reason for their unnecessary deaths and I've read their words carefully.

It's too much to bear, at times, when we hear these stories.

I had planned for a few days already to drop the car off for its yearly check-up this morning. And as I dropped it off at the shop, I thought to myself how ironic it would be if there were a problem with the brakes. And I knew, I just knew, that there would be.

And, sure enough, when they called me at 10:30 am to tell me that everything was perfect with the two year old car but the brakes, I found myself with chills.

And then I went back to regular life for a second when he gave me the price quote, and I tried to picture how we would deal with this unexpected expense.

And as I was doing that, I thought about how many thousands of shekels beyond my price quote the Attias family would gladly have paid for the fixing of their brakes.

And I swallowed deeply, juxtaposing my financial fears next to this tragedy and working to see everything in perspective.

I get it Hashem.

Why wasn't their family given the opportunity to fix their brakes and I was? Certainly, I can't answer that question.

But I can try to put my unexpected and unwanted expense in perspective and to thank Hashem today for that expense.

And to say a bracha of gratitude this afternoon when I pick up my children and step on the brakes as they work.

2 comments:

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  2. The pain is nearly unbearable, isn't it?

    I can't understand You or Your ways, Hashem. All I can do is thank You when a family member or dear friend is spared, and to trust that You know what You are doing when we hear of tragedy. Thank You for protecting my dear friend, Romi, and her family, and for giving her the wisdom to gain this insight. Please help dear little Rachel Attias to grow up healthy and happy, and to fulfill her unarguably heavy mission in the world.

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